Getting grown pt. 1

When I turned 18, I was all geeked because my parents gave me the only thing a kid ever wants in the whole wide world. A new car. It was a Honda Civic EX Coupe and I couldn't wait to drive that damn thing when I got it. I had just learned how to drive a stick, and I remember clunking down San Fernando Boulevard. I was stalling after every light just because I was so impatient and excited. It gave me a sense of freedom, and the feeling that I was growing up.

Well, yesterday Cindy and I, with the help of her parents (and mine) bought our first car together. A new Toyota Rav4. We had heard many great reviews about it from friends and family and we liked how it was big enough to be a family car, but not decadent enough to ruin the environment (too much). A hybrid would have been nice...but damn..you needs some scrill to save the world I guess.

Needless to say, the whole process of getting a car is VERY stressful, as the people you deal with, namely the car dealers...are INSANE. We were lucky enough to run into a few good people along the way, and they helped us get a good deal. In one instance, we were being stonewalled by one of the dealers after a few rounds of offers being lobbed back and forth. This so-called "manager" thought our offer was too low, and instead of dealing with us like real people and working with us, he started getting a bit forceful and pushy accusing us of not knowing what we wanted. This didn't sit well with Cindy's mom, and she let his colleagues know that he was being a real buster. After the dust settled, that salesman's superior came in and worked hard to keep our business and calm us down. His perkiness, bright red face and loud multi-colored striped shirt (think, "night at the roxbury" on meth) eventually bridged the gap and we were able to strike a deal. Well, it is worth saying that having our parents there for "backup", and they had our backs fo' sho, was a great comfort.

Its a strange and surreal thing to be driving a new car, and smelling that new car smell, especially when you have had the same car for 14 years (honda civic R.I.P.). Not to mention that this car is TOTALLY designed for a growing family: car seat latches, air bags EVERYWHERE, IPOD connector (that's for me)...and just the general familyness look of it.

I'm just as excited to drive it with our little boy in the backseat, as I was zooming through traffic in my fancy sportscar back in the day. Anyways, Cin and I are happy with it, and it is one more step towards...getting grown. I think having kids forces you down that path whether you like it or not. Beep...beep...baby on board...step the f*** back fool!!!

laks

Old Navy aka Babylon System

So Cindy was able to convince me to go to Old Navy on Sunday to shop for cool maternity gear. Something about her needing new pants, and that the tighter they get, the crankier she'll be. Needless to say, i can take a hint.

Its really amazing how affordable Old Navy clothes are. They probably pay the people that work on this stuff, close to nothing (believe me, it crosses my mind). Man, its so easy to find stuff too that is somewhat cool. I mean, Jeans for $17.99, the kuripot gene in my DNA cannot keep me from passing that up.

Anyways, there are also all these clothes for kids. I have to say, they have some really nice stuff. Makes me wanna be a kid so i can have some camo underwear with some little monkeys on it. Not to mention the one piece illness with the built-in feet. Ah, memories. Meanwhile, I keep thinking that this kid is gonna cost me some serious buckaroos, but shoot he'd look awesome in some rasta flip-flops.

The other funny thing is, you know he ain't fitting into a 4T for like 2 years, but you're like, "Yeah, he'll grow into that, and when he does...he'll be rockin' the sick navy shirt, with the sailor pants..word booty!"

Well..this is what I've been driven to. Cooptation at Old Navy...hope you appreciate it kid. Oh shoot, those tye-dye booties are sweet!

Laks

I'm a Duppy Conqueror..

Yes me friend, me friend
We 'pon deh street again
yes me friend, me good friend
Dem SET ME free again

the bars could not hold me
force could not control me
they tried to keep me down
but Jah put I around

yes I've been accused, many times
and wrongly abused now
but through the powers of the Most-I
they've got to turn me loose

dont try to CUT ME OFF on this bridge now
I' ve got to reach Mt. Zion
so if you a BULLBUCKA, let me tell you this
i'm a duppy conqueror, conqueror

yes me friend, me good frend
we deh'pon street again
yes me friend me good friend
dem say we free again

dont try to CUT ME OFF on this bridge now
ive got to reach Mt. Zion
so if you a BULLBUCKA, let me tell you this
i'm a duppy conqueror, conqueror

yes me friend
dem say we free again
yes me friend
dem set deh street again

-- Bob

the miracle of life...

There is a scene at the beginning of the movie, "Children of Men" where a crowd of people are standing around in a cafe weeping over the death of the youngest person in the world. In this story, all the women of the world are infertile and are unable to have children. So in this reality, each young person who dies is another signpost that marks the end of the human race. Seconds after the protagonist walks out of the cafe, a bomb rips through the cafe and kills everyone in it.

After hearing about the events at Virginia Tech yesterday, I kept thinking about the dichotomy that exists in our lives. One in which the duality of hope and despair continue to battle for position. I am deeply saddened to hear about the 30+ people who were killed, as I am saddened to hear about the soldiers abroad who die in battle, or the innocent bystanders in Iraq that die every day over ambiguous perceptions and invisible loyalties.

What I don't understand is why people mourn so greatly over one life, and choose to ignore the loss of others. Can we really, as a people, evaluate which life is worth more? Maybe it is proximity to our own lived existence that determines its effect on us. In that case, out of sight...out of mind.

And..I guess when you think of sight, you also think of things that brings these things to light. Namely...the media...an institution that either creates or distorts the true reality of things. I'm seeing the wheels churn as we speak regarding the VT tragedy and it leaves me a bit saddened and depressed.

Hope and Despair...the revolving door of human existence. Within any event, both exist. One story that emerged from this tragedy was of a college professor barricading one of the doors in the school as the gunman approached, giving his students just enough time to safely exit through the window. He was killed moments later. A moment filled with despair...but also filled with an altruistic love and hope.

Humans can do so much to ensure that life continues. Unfortunately, it might take a miracle for us to understand it.

what's in a name?

" In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." -- John 1:1

A name is a very important detail in a person's life. A good name sparks interest and creates opportunity. It allows you to meet people who might not have noticed you initially, and give you a strong identity on which to build upon. A bad name can relegate you to the back of the line, might turn people off, lead you through a path of chidhood ridicule.

Although, what's in a name? If the verse from John 1:1 is true...is the name really the thing? Does a person become who they are and it just happens to connect with their name, or does the name..and the naming of that person, actually help determine who that person will be? Could it be that as humans, we look for order within chaos and patterns where there are none and we can justify damn near any name to fit with the person we're describing? For example...that dude Marcus (definition: warlike) is a real jerk, I always get in arguments with him. Or..that guy Lucas (defintion: bringer of light) seems to have the right answer all the time..how does he do it?

Anyways...suffice it to say, naming someone is a big deal. And one that I do not take lightly, since my name Lakandiwa, has definitely defined my lived experience so far.

At first, I didn't like having to explain to everyone how to say it, what it meant, where my parents were from etc etc. Not to mention the butchering that would happen on the first, second and third days of school when the teacher would try to "give it a shot." I had one semester where a teacher called me "Lincoln" the whole year even though I corrected her about half the time. Then again, as I defended my name, and taught people how to say it, I realized that at least I had a name that people had to think about. It also made me realize that I was unique, and different, reminded my I was Filipino, and overall...it helped me become the man I am today.

Lakan stands for "judge" "leader" and I do pride myself as someone who can help lead if needed, and who is level-headed in an argument. Diwa stands for "soul" "spirit" "knowledge". My dad used to tell me that Lakandiwa stands for "King of Knowledge." Geez, try to live up to that one. If anything, I appreciate the faith my parents have had in me to give me such a name. I hope I've done them proud so far.

So a name is important...didn't I say that already. To name something or someone can predetermine who that person is and who they will become. Yet, a name can also allow you to realize who you need to become, and where you need to go.

word up,

laks

p.s. btw...if anyone has ideas on names...please send them on through.

baby pics

Below are a couple of the great baby pics we got from the last ultrasound. He's a cute little boy. Always trying to strike a pose. Anyways...enjoy the miracle of life (angelic...aaaaahh).

laks

"..make sure you get my good side!"



"Emotional Content...not Anger!! HYAAAHH!!! woOoOo"



"ahem...AHEM...can't a baby get a little privacy HERE!"

so...ITS A....???

On Wednesday, Cindy and I headed out to Panorama City for the latest checkup and ultrasound for the baby. Cindy is about 18 weeks into the pregnancy and typically this is the time where we can find out what the baby's gender is.

The question: boy or girl? is such a loaded question. I don't think its really fair, but obviously its an important one. As we all know a person's gender can set them to go through totally different pathways.

Initially, we kinda thought it would be a girl, but that might have just been our own perceptions coming out...at least, my own. I like the idea of a girl because because the first-born usually sets the tone for the rest of the siblings, and a woman can set a needed example for them. I also have many strong women in my life.

I also like the idea of a boy, because I can relate directly to him, not only as a father..but as boy once myself ; ) There will be a lot more vicarious living to be had there, along with a little rug rat to roughhouse with hehe. Also a little junior to carry on your name is something that is always in your mind.

But..regardless of these pros and pros...I don't mind what it is, as long as it is healthy. So we headed into it with an open mindset.

So they brought cindy into the room and she met with the doctors, for what seemed like an hour, only because I was left sitting outside in this long empty hallway at the hospital. The morning shift brings out some weird looking characters at a hospital, all draggin cuz they haven't slept and whatnot. Anyways, I was anxious.

Finally they call me in and Cindy is there on the table and the female nurse begins to pass the ultrasound wand over her...um...womb. Instantly images start to appear on the little screen.

"Whoa, is that a spine.." (it looked like the inside of a tilapia)

"Wait, thats gotta be the head..."

"Why are the legs crossed...the kid's shy he doesn't want us to see wassup down there..."

"Here's his leg fully extended..." (a full extension kick, like "HYAHH!")

then...we noticed that the legs were spread apart, and for about 5 seconds we were looking at this bump that didn't look like a leg, or a head, or an arm, or whatever. the nurse turned to us with kind of this look like, "well..you see it for yourself right?"

"Well it's a boy."

WHOA....that was cool. It's weird though, because all of a sudden all the thoughts and crazy ideas that were swirling around become super focused. Hey..its a boy! Woopee!

I'm glad we found out, its kinda cool to get ready for it. Anyways, we celebrated afterwards with a fine gourmet meal in the hospital cafeteria, poring over the ultrasound pics.

Since, I just started this blog, I haven't put them up yet, but they'll be there shortly.

So, welcome to our adventures in babysitting!!

peace,

Laks