the future is so bright...

"Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans..." - john lennon from "beautiful boy"

Malibu is burning, and so is my little Leo boy (he's a little pissed about the lakers).

A strange thing happens after you have a child. I think it is something evolutionary.... programmed in our DNA maybe. You start to drift off and begin living and breathing in the future. I don't mean just thinking about it, but actually being there. Worrying about things, going through the motions of how you are going to deal with things, being happy, feeling sorrow.

Mateyo has only been here for two months and I'm already thinking about having to talk to him about sex one day, freaking myself out (Think if we had had a girl first, I'd probably be catatonic at this point). The other night as I watched him flail away during a diaper change, I imagined how I will feel the first time he talks back to me, or how sad I will be for him the first time he gets his heart broken. I am having the conversation right now...and I gotta admit, its a tough one. The thoughts are so vivid that I have to constantly snap myself back to reality and realize he's only a baby.

Part of it too, is that his personality is becoming more and more apparent. He is smiling a lot more, and has a strange pensity for peeing on me. I swear he's just waiting 'til I have my guard down. I hope that is not symbolic of anything! See, there I go again. All in all though, he's a great kid and so far the good has greatly outweighed the bad, and as I've said before...thank god for the coffee bean.

When we take pictures, is that to document the past? or get things prepared for our future nostalgic selves? As the old buddhists say, live in the present and savor every moment that happens...now...and now...and now. It's kinda hard to keep up, huh?. I guess, in life as well as in Star Trek, temporal issues are not worth thinking too much about.

Live in the now, and you'll be better off.

I wonder how that will sound tomorrow.

Laks